One Star Classics : Troll 2

Troll 2

Oct 04, 2015 / Movies, Music, and TV

It is, or at least should be, up for debate if Troll 2 objectively is, as many claim, the worst movie ever made. That it likely is the second most prolific god-awful movie out there (after Plan 9 from Outer Space) is pretty clear, and hell, if this is the place the children start their journey into misunderstood movie territory, then so be it.

And of course there are so many things wrong with Troll 2 that it truly is a laugh-out-loud movie. I’m not talking a detached, ironic kind of funny; I’m talking bona fide hilarous. Just the foundation of the thing is amazing—the number "2" in the title aside, Troll 2 is not a sequel to Troll, and the title is simply a marketing ploy by some clever Italians. (Not unlike Zombie 2, though that is not an awful film. If you’re wondering about the many unrelated Italian sequels out there, it simply comes down to their lax trademark system.)

Said Italians didn’t speak English particularly well either, making the script nonsensical. Many know the rather literal «you can’t piss on hospitality» line, but at least that makes some sort of sense, unlike large chunks of dialogue often stringed together with random English words. (Apparently the actors—community-theater grade at best, all who had auditioned for bit parts—were repeatedly shut down when trying to convince director Claudio Fragasso of the many futilities of direct translations.)

I mean, my god, there really is nothing good about Troll 2. This is a movie where the goblins—they are never referred to as trolls—eat humans, an idea based on the screenwriter being «pissed off» (direct quote) by her friends becoming vegetarians. Not exactly a solid foundation for a film.

More importantly, though… While Troll 2 is its own movie, it is also a warning about what will come 26 years after its release. Right now, the filming of Suicide Squad has just wrapped up, and much has been made of Jared Leto’s Joker promo picture…

Clockwise from top left: Capture from Troll 2; Jared Leto promo image from Suicide Squad; evil witch from Troll 2; original image from Killing Joke. Say what you want, but I think Leto looks awesome in the equally awesome Suicide Squad trailer.

We’ll see how that all works out, but in the meantime, you might as well sit through Troll 2 a few times. I can guarantee you it never gets boring.

By Remi, Oct 04, 2015

Letterboxd summary: When young Joshua learns that he will be going on vacation with his family to a small town called Nilbog, he protests adamantly. He is warned by the spirit of his deceased grandfather that goblins populate the town. His parents, Michael and Diana, dismiss his apprehensions, but soon learn to appreciate their son's warnings. Guided by his grandfather's ghost, will Joshua and his family stand a chance in fighting off these evil beings?